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"This study moves away from the one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and gives specific advice to parents on how to mitigate their child's anxiety and depression," said Cara Kiff, lead author and psychology resident at the UW School of Medicine. "We're considering characteristics that make children vulnerable to anxiety and depression, and factoring in how that shapes how kids react to different parenting approaches."

"We hear a lot about over-involved parents, like 'tiger moms' and 'helicopter parents,'" said co-author Liliana Lengua, a UW psychology professor. "It is parents' instinct to help and support their children in some way, but it's not always clear how to intervene in the best way. This research shows that parenting is a balance between stepping in and stepping out with guidance, support and structure based on cues from kids."

Kiff, Lengua and Nicole Bush, a co-author and postdoctoral fellow at University of California, San Francisco's Center for Health and Community, studied interactions between 214 children and their mothers during interviews at home. An almost even mix of boys and girls participated in the study and were, on average, 9 years old when the study began.

The children and their mothers met with the researchers once a year. The researchers observed as the pairs discussed neutral topics, such as a recap of the day's events, and common problems, like conflicts over homework and chores. During the conversations, the researchers noted parenting styles, including warmth and hostility, and how much mothers allowed their child to guide the conversations – an autonomy-granting parenting style.

The researchers also measured the children's anxiety and depression symptoms and evaluated their personality characteristics. They paid particular attention to effortful control, the kids' abilities to regulate their own emotions and actions, which is associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety.

At the end of the three-year study, the researchers found that

• Children with greater effortful control had fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression compared with other kids in the study, and those symptoms usually remained low regardless of parenting style.
• When children were higher in effortful control but their parents used higher levels of guidance or provided little autonomy, those children showed higher levels of depression and anxiety.
• Children with low effortful control had less anxiety when mothers provided more structuring and less autonomy.
• Children low in effortful control doubled their anxiety symptoms if they had mothers who provided little control